Hey. My name is Will. This is S the Great's Medium-Sized Gaia Website. This is my best friend, Lance.

S the Great employed us to help convey the message of this site. This is probably the first site of its kind. S didn't find any others like it yet.

S aspires to someday start a new wave of sites devoted to Illusion of Gaia.

Now, the rest of our friends are going to introduce themselves. Our goal is for our intros to take less time than S the Great's Final Fantasy III site, and end without anyone freaking out.

I'm Kara, Will's girlfriend.

Girlfriend? Ha! Will doesn't even like you. If he does, not half as much as he likes me. Isn't that right, Will?

That would be Lilly, my girlfriend. She's cool. She came from a mystical village and she can turn into a dandelion! Don't get involved, Will. You can't win. I'm warning you.

Hey, Lilly, I do like Kara. She's my girlfriend.

What? You like Kara?

Sure. Why not?

And so it begins.

What do you mean, "Sure. Why not?" You're supposed to love me. What kind of a boyfriend are you?

How can you like that girl? She's so... Kara.

Hey, we still have some more people who need to introduce themselves.

So? Introduce them. I don't care anymore.

Well, this is...

Look at you, Lance! You're aiding Will in making me look like a fool.

I'm not saying anything.

I'm Erik. I'm the youngest of the group members, but I'm also the most helpful.

Helpful? That's BS. You were a pain in the butt. I was going through the whole quest waiting for you to go away, but no! Instead, that fish ate Seth.

I would be Seth. I got eaten once by Riverson. It's a good thing I came back to life after the quest.

That's it, Will. I'm not speaking to you anymore.

I'm not speaking to you, either. I'm not speaking to Lance at all, my ex-boyfriend.

Awwwww...

C'mon.

I think by now we can give up on our goal of beating Final Fantasy III. We had the advantage, too. We're only half in numbers as them.

What's that supposed to mean?

Yeah?

You shut up, Erik. I'm still waiting for you to leave our group...

Hey, don't talk to him that way. I'm not speaking to you either.

You can shut up too.

I'm Neil, an inventor. I'm not really a member of the group. I traveled with them, though.

You were one of us, all right--the useless one. If I had been around, no one would have needed you.

Hey, I'm not the one who got eaten by a shark-lookin' fish.

Sharks are fish. I'd think that if you were an actual smart person, you'd know that. That's why you were the useless one.

Don't call him useless.

Shut it, dandelion girl.

Screw you guys; I'm leaving this page.

I'm outta here.

I'm tired of this. I'm leaving.

I'm done here. I'm going home.

I'm taking my plane out of here. Nyaa nyaa!

I'm leaving. I can't stand you people anymore.

...

...

Well...

At least I didn't freak out.